Coma

That girly scream you just heard was me startled from my coma as Timmy backed up the dump truck full of cash and poured it into the market in the very last minutes of the trading day. We just went on a 22 point S&P ride in a heartbeat. The futures hit 926.5 momentarily and the 200SMA is officially at 928ish. My guess is the market will open for a few seconds above 928 and then deflate like a punctured balloon. Time will tell, I'm going back to sleep. Good luck.

COD

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The Pentagon plans to create a new military command for cyberspace, stepping up preparations by the armed forces to conduct both offensive and defensive computer warfare, the New York Times said on Friday. I guess the generals are getting bored with real wars. Just what I want my tax dollars spent on. Sargent I want an Xbox on every desk by Thursday and thats an order! Hey I can rent out my 11 year old as a militarty consultant for big bucks! He has such a macho screen name too, Puglover 333! Back in the real word we are still bouncing up and down in this channel on the S&P between 925ish and 875ish. This makes it very hard for trade-able patterns to form but you could short the top and go long the bottom of this channel over and over again if you are bored. Lets see what happens by the close. Good Luck.

Claustraphobia!

Wow its really getting hard to breath in here. The 200SMA keeps getting lower and 875 on the S&P keeps getting higher. Something has to give real soon. I wish I hadn't eaten that burrito for lunch. See ya in the morning.

Team America

I guess Timmy and Ben are running out of things in their bag of tricks to jump start the economy. I see this morning that the US and South Korea are on high alert! Nothing like a good thermonuclear war to put people back to work. Now where did I leave my uncles M1? No new setups today just waiting to see if we fall below or bounce off of 875 on the S&P. Good Luck. America F$%%^ Yeah!

The giant drop!

This is cooler than the Six Flags ride! Bounced right off the 38.2% fib, back to 875 we gooooooooo!

We got squished

We got an big short squeeze right out of the gates yesterday that frankly caught everyone including my wiseguy friends by surprise. If you look at he S&P chart directly to my left on the blog we have been trading sideways for a few days now as the 200SMA slopes down closer and closer. Bottom line is something has to give. We will punch up and away to a new rally or crash and burn downwards. In any case yesterdays action really put the kibosh on some patterns that were setting up so there are no new trades for today. Good Luck.

Splash!

I don't know if you noticed but this morning right before the open we launched off of 875ish on the S&P for the third time. Just inches from going over the cliff we get saved again. I know you are out there Timmy and you wont see me jumpin in on this pool party!

Pot Holes

I read an interesting statistic while waiting around for my step daughters case in traffic court. "The magnitude of the recession was underscored by the latest numbers from the U.S. Treasury: last month’s individual income tax receipts dropped 44% and corporate tax revenue plunged 65% compared to April 2008." Well I know where my town is cutting back, road work! And judging by the people parading past me in court this morning I'm pretty sure this country is doomed. But don't worry the consumer confidence numbers are way up. That rumbling you hear in the distance is the herd of humanity running to the mall to by more stuff they don't need! Well we were stopped out of UDN for a nice profit and looks like SDS caved on the news as well, but we are still going to hang in there on that one for a bit longer. Tonight I will see if there are any new trades worth taking. Good luck.

A good week

OMG! We are pulling a reverse Timmy at the close! After the close move your UDN stop up to 26.70 Have a great Memorial Day Weekend.

Miami Vice

WASHINGTON/NEW YORK (Reuters) – U.S. bank regulators seized troubled Florida lender BankUnited FSB and sold it to some of the most powerful private equity firms in the world. The failure is the largest this year, and will cost the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp (FDIC) an estimated $4.9 billion. The Wall Street Journal reported that the government will take most of the expected losses. That means you and me Holmes! Growing up in Chicago makes you very cynical. Is it just me or do the mob guys now have Ivy League degrees and less garish suits? Whats it going to take to get folks in the streets with pitchforks and torches! If the bank f@$ked up let them fry. No one bails out my bad trades! And speakin of trades move your UDN stop up to 26.68 we are keepin most of this ride up! Good luck!

Strike 2!

Wow all these baseball pictures and I don't even like it that much except for the beer, but it gets the point across. This is the second time we have taken a crack at punching through the floor in the S&P @875. If we break down from there its going to be green shoot clippings flying around everywhere. Right now it looks as if we will bounce off it like a super ball again. I think I'm going to name these fantastic last minute recoveries "A Timmy!", in honor of our treasury secretary. SDS is much less worser and UDN looks downright spectacular. After the close move your UDN stop up to 26.52 Good luck

Trading for a living

Trading for your livelihood is a lot like being one of the monks in the Monty Python Holy Grail movie. Your fine for a few steps and then you whack yourself hard in the forehead. We appear to be on the first few steps right now. UDN is profitable right now leave your stop in place. SDS gapped up nicely this morning and is looking remarkably "less worser" right now. So far so good lets see what the day brings. Good Luck.

Two soldiers left

UDN is rockin and SDS is making a comeback. For those of you technically curious the S&P was oh so close to spanking the bottom of the 200 day moving average around 10:30am and then proceeded to fall off a cliff. Will it go up or down from here? Probably! Good luck. PS I think I got the market index thingy working at the top of the blog here so don't be alarmed if things are moving around on the page, its just me rearranging the furniture.

We have lift-off!

Sell half of UDN and leave your stop in place. Need I say more. Good Luck!

Picked off and Took Off

The SKF trade got stopped out but the UDN trade just took off like a rocket. Move your stop on UDN up to 26.28 Good Luck

The truth is out there

So I am rooting around my usual wiseguy sites trying to get a feel for general consensus/market direction when I run across this;

http://zerohedge.blogspot.com/2009/05/flagrantly-visible-hand.html

Did you ever wonder how the market makes those spectacular reversals in the last few minutes of the day and scratch your head? About 2:30 into the video the dude talks about hundreds of thousands of futures contracts trading in that short time frame. I did the math and a 100K of S&P eMini contracts would cost me 50Mil. Whats in your trading account Pilgrim? Hmmmmmm my money is on "The smoking man". Anyway as I write this Mulder and Scully are on to him because we appear to be going down. Set your stop on SKF @ 41.22. Good Luck.

It Less Worser Out There

Honest I heard an analyst on Bloomberg say that today. GM's bankruptcy is imminent, American Express is going to lay off 11,000 people, and everybody is elated because B of A left their balance sheet in the "mark to make believe" toaster oven a little longer and Lowes sold a buttload of mulch! I swear sometimes I think I'm going nuts. Less worser still sucks right? Anyway our SKF and SDS trades look awful right now but who knows in a day they may look less worser. I will update you in the morning as the day unfolds.

Mid Day Update

QID just got stopped out for a profit, UDN is hangin in there. Just waiting for the after lunch selling to commence. Good Luck!

Some Housekeeping

Here are a few stops for you to set on some earlier open trades. Set UDN @ 25.89 and QID @ 37.91 We are going to let SKF and SDS run a bit since we got a pop this morning from Lowes better than expected earnings. You can come out from under your desk now everything is much better in the economy because people are buying bathroom tiles! Good luck.

Oh Gooodie!

SDS filled! Quick get me some more frosted flakes!

U.S. consumer prices flat in April

Duh, nobody has any money or jobs. Wow these Ivy League guys are smart huh. Well all our picks actually look good this morning and even SKF recovered after I got that thing out of my nose. If you are really ADHD and need some more picks to keep track of go long SRS @ 25.77 and SDS @ 61.65 Good luck

Hold Em

I haven't hit any of my stops yet so here I sit watching paint dry. I love this quote from Reuters "The surge in U.S. markets over the past two months has made investors who missed the rally anxious to get back into stocks", analysts said. Can you analysts say "CHUMP". Honestly shouldn't it be illegal to print suggestive stuff like this. The rally has not been "rallying" for one day for cryin out loud. I guess there really is a sucker born every minute. Everything is still looking good except SKF. OMG! the PPT must be reading my blog. Where was that bug on Arnold? Excuse me while I go pick my nose.

Keeping Watch

Im just going to keep an eye on my existing positions today because I expect a quiet consolidation day. I will let you know if anything changes. Good Luck.

What a country!

Only in the USA can a man make tons of cash using his fat little finger to click a mouse button. QID Ka-ching, SKF Ka-Ching, UDN nothin but Jim Rogers agrees with me and whenever a billionaire agrees with you its a good thing!

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601100&sid=a3YnR0N8LgpQ&refer=germany#

Stick em up

Today we short the financials in honor of the wonderful stewardship of our economy that they have performed. We will be going long SKF @ 46.95 the Proshares Ultrashort Financials ETF. QID is still rockin and UDN is still flopping around breakeven so today life is good. Good Luck!

Yikes!

Who let Bernake in the ballast room with the tire pump! We recovered the whole days 15 S&P point drop in 30 minutes, sure the market isn't manipulated. Oh well we are still at break even or profitable on our existing positions so i guess we will take it. Good Luck!

Dive Dive

We just punched below 900 on the S&P futures. Damn the torpedoes full steam ahead! Break out the flying sub I need a cheese burger. Man I used to love that show. For those of you still sitting on half your QID position you are makin more money woo hoo! Close some or let it ride, your choice. And last but not least here is a great article about how we have all collectively lost our minds. Good luck.

http://www.financialsense.com/editorials/quinn/2009/0511.html

Who left the barn open

Today we are going long UDN above 26.10 This pony gapped open but I still think it will have some legs. This particular ETF is equal to shorting the US Dollar. With crazy Ben printing like mad and tiny Timmy giving them away in bushels to his buddies I'm pretty sure your chances are high of making some dough on this one. Good luck.

Bad Moon Rising

I can feel it in my bones the painful correction is imminent. There are just to many shiny happy people on TV saying the economy is starting to recover. All reason and logic seems to have been set aside and gallons of Kool-Aid dispensed. The TV-hypno machine has been dialed up to 11! And its not going to be pretty. So dust off that tent and camping gear and pull up a folding chair to watch. Excuse me I need to go off and howl a bit. I will be back later tonight with some picks for the morning.

Close enough for government work

Lets hope this is the start of a nice pullback. Close one half to three quarters of your QID positions for a very nice profit. Let the balance ride at the casino and see what happens today. Good luck

Steady as she goes

I get a warm feeling when I'm making a nice profit, or maybe I just wet myself. Keep your finger on the trigger boys and girls because if the S&P drops below 900 we are going to close half of QID and let the rest ride. You smell that. I love the smell of green shoots being mowed down in the morning. Smells like money.

Wheeeeeeee!

Isn't this fun! Today's QID pick is kicking butt lets hope our training wheels don't come off before the close! Hold on!!!!

Are we there yet?

Trying to call the top of this suckers rally is like scratching your forehead with a loaded Glock. The Jan 6th S&P high was 943ish and we are getting really close. Will we punch higher? Will we drop to new lows? I have no clue thats why this is so fun. Today's pick go long QID @ 36.69 Good luck!

Yellow Weeds

Sometimes when I see someone actually telling the truth I get so excited I cant help myself. Check out this quote from Gary Dorsh's column at financial sense today. I highly recommend you check these folks out weekly.

"The stunning rebound from March 6-20th was only the fifth time since 1929 that the S&P 500 Index has run up by more than +20% in 14 days or less. The rebound has been dubbed the “Green Shoots” Rally, signaling the initial stages of a recovery in the battered global economy. Most importantly, under heavy political pressure from the Fed and Congress, FASB altered rule #157 to allow American bankers to value toxic assets at their own discretionary judgment.

The switch-back to “mark-to-make-believe” accounting is an expedient scheme that allows the banking elite to conceal their losses and use the same obscure and discredited models to inflate their balance sheets. The recent spate of better-than-expected earnings reports by US banking giants Goldman Sachs, JP-Morgan, Citigroup, Bank of America, and Wells Fargo is a testament, not to the strengthening of the real economy, but rather due to accounting gimmickry."

Take that CNBC!

Headbutt

We just headbutted the 38.2% fib on the SPX and bounced right back off of it. No good setups for today but if we continue to slip back from here I am sure we will see some good short setups for tomorrow morning.

All streched out

Everything in chartland looks like that rubber dude in the Fantastic Four. Is this the beginning of a rally or a very clever fake out. As one of the wise guys I follow says there has been a no pullback for 2 months and a 35% rally. What goes up must come down. Only time will tell but right now there are no clear setups to trade. I will keep an eye on things and report back later.

Took my haircut

Even though I still think I am right about a major correction I bit the bullet and exited my SDS position. For those of you who want to learn something I was trading what I thought and not what I saw. This is a very common trading error. I am also very stubborn when I think I am right. This is a demon you must tame if you want to succeed trading and probably the hardest one to vanquish. Well now that the evil trading demons have my cash the market is sure to come crashing down tomorrow. In any case I will go lick my wounds now and look at the charts with fresh unbiased eyes and report back to you folks. Good Luck

Everything is just Bullish

All the talking heads are stoked over the "Green Shoots" popping up all around them. The S&P closed above the key 875 mark required for lift off. The swine flu epidemic is just a bunch of old pork chops now. The TA nerds are confounded with their signals and are leaning to the long side. I should be going long now but I just cant. When everyone is running in one direction its just my nature to head the other way. I'm still long SDS so its Hallelujah or haircut time come next week.

Happy dance!

Nice drop on the ES futures to 863, lets see if we can drop to 850. Also REW filled set your stop to 45.16 Good luck!

To close to call

I feel like I'm stuck in the elevator shaft. Good news is that we didn't break above the 880s on the S&P so there is still hope of profiting on this SDS trade. Another trade that looks good to me is REW long @47.87. Good luck.